


Going Through the Motions

by ikuzonos



Category: Dangan Ronpa, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, NDRV3 Spoilers, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-11 12:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11714376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikuzonos/pseuds/ikuzonos
Summary: [Major Endgame NDRV3 Spoilers]Himiko Yumeno wakes up inside of a locker in a classroom.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> time loop AUs are my shit and i've been wanting to write one for v3 for ages. there's still a lot left to go after this!!
> 
> thanks to @idaate for beta reading!

Hot, hot sunlight burns the back of Himiko’s neck. She squints up at the light, tugging the brim of her hat down just enough to shade her tender eyes.

Saihara and Harukawa seem to have similar expressions of bewilderment mixed with joy mixed with sorrow. She takes a couple steps forwards, her legs shaking, so that she doesn’t get left behind in the mass of rubble.

If she looks carefully up at the sky, she can see traces of Kiibo, the hero who was sacrificed in order to grant the three of them their freedom. Himiko’s certain that she’ll never forget about him.

Just one more step, and she’ll be caught up with her fellow survivors.

Just one

more

_s_

_t_

_e_

_p_

and everything goes dark.

-

The only thing that Himiko can see when she opens her eyes are three singular slats. Every part of her body aches, especially her head. She reaches out in front of her, trying to make sense of her surroundings, only to suddenly be flooded with light.

She squints for a moment, before it hits her that she pushed open a locker door. That of course, begs the next question. What is she doing in a _locker?_

The room is dim and dismal. Himiko screws up her nose for only a moment, because in the next, she freezes in place. This is the Gifted Inmates Academy. Even though she would swear on her life that the building was obliterated in front of their eyes.

Had part of the school remained standing? And if so, had the three of them taken shelter in there for the night? But even if that was the case, why would she sleep in a locker of all places?

Himiko rubs her eyes, then _shrieks_. Because standing across the room from her, stepping out of an identical locker, is Miu Iruma.

Who is _dead._

“Whoa, whoa, chill your fucking bitch tits,” Iruma says, holding up her hands, “I know that it’s not everyday you meet the genius that is myself, but you’ll give me a damn headache.”

Himiko chokes out, “But you… but you…!”

Iruma snorts, “I’m much more beautiful in real life, I know. You’re chill, everyone’s always super surprised at how fucking gorgeous Miu Iruma really is.”

She continues to talk, not phased by the fact that Himiko can’t seem to catch her breath. Miu Iruma was killed by Gonta Gokuhara. She saw her corpse, so there’s no doubt.

_What the hell is happening?!_

“So… are you just gonna gawk at me the whole time, or are you gonna tell me your fuckin’ name, little bitch?” Iruma asks, raising her eyebrows.

Himiko tries to speak, but her voice disappears before it gets out of her throat. She and Iruma are wearing the costumes that the Monocubs provided, so the blonde at the very least is still under the influence of Team _Dangan Ronpa’s_ brainwashing.

The most logical assumption is that she’s dreaming. Himiko pinches herself, but only ends up with a sore arm. Seeing that Iruma is still waiting on a response, she croaks out, “H-Himiko Yumeno. I’m a real… a real mage.”

“Sick,” Iruma says cocking her head, “So, say we get out of this stink filled shit hole?

Himiko lowers her eyes, “Yeah… sure.”

Her throat is already beginning to tighten again.

-

All sixteen of them are alive again. Despite having watched thirteen of them die, some right before her very eyes, they’re all very clearly in front of her, lungs functional and hearts beating. Everywhere she looks, she sees someone who shouldn’t be any more than a limp corpse, walking and talking like nothing has changed.

Everyone, and Himiko means _everyone,_ acts exactly the same as they did during the game that Himiko remembers so clearly. Saihara is glued to Akamatsu’s side, Hoshi is keeping to himself, Harukawa is lying about her talent, and Tenko is hanging out with Himiko whenever she gets the chance.

Not that Himiko minds, even in the slightest. Her only problem is that whenever the black haired girl smiles, she can see a _kama_ driven through her neck, and blood dripping out of her mouth, staining her teeth.

She can’t seem to figure out what’s going on, though. Nobody seems to have any idea that this is not the first time that this has occurred.

That means, if she doesn’t interfere, everything’s going to go exactly the same as before. And Himiko can’t let that be the case.

(She won’t let Tenko die again.)

What better place to stop a killing game, then, than with the mastermind?

The day before the time limit would have been imposed, assuming that Himiko’s memories of the first game are accurate, she stands outside Tsumugi Shirogane’s door at ten minutes to midnight with a kitchen knife hidden in her skirt.

She can’t hear much besides the beat of her own heart, pounding against her chest cavity like a baseball smacking a wall again and again and again _and again-_

Himiko knocks on the door. She doesn’t know if this will end well, hell, she doesn’t even know if Shirogane is _awake._ But this is the only option that her brain will provide- end the killing game before Akamatsu tries to and inevitably fails.

(This time around, Himiko sees the gleams in the blonde’s eyes, the shifty actions and forced demeanor, and she wonders how she missed it before. It’s so obvious, now that she knows where to look, so obvious that it makes her sick.)

The cosplayer opens the door a crack, one bespectacled eye poking out through it. When she sees Himiko - weak tiny could never hurt a fly Himiko - she opens it wide enough for Himiko to be able to see her, but not the inside of the room.

Himiko wonders what kinds of terrible things she’s hiding inside.

“I-Is something the matter, Yumeno-san?” Shirogane’s voice is filled with such fake docility that it makes her want to retch. Shirogane is even more false than Akamatsu is, and Himiko knows that there are daggers hidden behind the kind eyes and soft manner of speaking.

Himiko rocks back and forth on her heels, trying to sound as non threatening as possible. If she lets slip for even a _second_ that she has an inkling of what’s going on, then the mastermind will neutralize her in an instant. She had proven that the first time- killing Amami in cold blood, _just in case._

“I wanna talk to you about somethin’,” Himiko gets out, “Preferably alone, y’know? So that nobody else can overhear.”

Shirogane rapidly glances over her shoulder, then back at Himiko, “Well… okay. That’s fine I suppose. Could we talk in your room, then?”

No no no that’s not the plan _that’s not the plan-_

Panic fills Himiko’s mind, reducing her to a blank. She looks behind her, desperate for an excuse, when she realizes that the perfect one is right in front of her. With her best lazy expression, she turns back to Shirogane.

“But your room is right here,” she argues, “‘nd I don’t wanna walk up all those stairs again… It’s too tiresome.”

Shirogane hesitates. She glances into her room again, then says, “Wait a moment. I’ve got… a lot of cosplay things out, so it’s a mess.”

Himiko opens her mouth to say that she doesn’t mind, but Shirogane closes the door in her face before she can. She waits in the darkened hallway, trying to ignore the muffled sounds of Shirogane hiding evidence, before the door opens again.

“Sorry for the wait,” Shirogane says breathlessly, a more vacant expression on her face than before. It seems that not even her mask is perfect. She sucks in a deep breath, then says, “Come on in!”

Himiko slips inside the room, taking it in for the few moments she has. There’s not many personal effects in her room, though it seems that she’s hidden everything underneath her bed, judging by the long shadows on the floor.

Shirogane clasps her hands, “What did you want to talk about, Yumeno-san? You sounded… concerned. Is everything okay?”

Himiko takes a step closer, having removed the hidden knife, and now holding it behind her back. The blade presses into her bones, but she doesn’t hesitate when she speaks, “I figured somethin’ important out… and I needed to tell someone. You’re just about the only person here that I think I can trust.”

Shirogane cocks her head, “R-Really? Well, er, I’m honoured that you trust me… What was it that you figured out?”

“That you had to die.”

Himiko thrusts the knife into Shirogane’s gut.

She dies quickly, almost _too_ quickly. At least she doesn’t suffer more than necessary, though. Himiko stares at her still body - her _corpse_ \- for a long time, tears falling down her face. What was she thinking? How could she go through with taking a life?

_I saved everyone. I saved everyone else, and that’s what matters._

Himiko repeats the thought to herself over and over again, but the more she hears it, the less she believes it. Her hands won’t stop shaking, and Shirogane is still _dead._

It takes her a good two hours to finally leave the cosplayer’s room and return to her own, her eyes red and watering the whole time.

-

She doesn’t sleep a wink that night. Himiko drags herself down to the cafeteria as soon as the morning announcement goes off - _automatically,_ she tells herself, because there’s no way that the mastermind would go to the effort of making the same repetitive announcement every single day - and gets there before Saihara and Akamatsu do.

She can’t beat Toujou, Gonta, or Kiibo, though. Those three would manage to be early to their own funerals.

(Himiko feels a sour taste grow in her throat at the thought.)

She sits at the table and fiddles with the frayed strings of her outfit, not daring to look anyone in the eye, out of the fear that if she does, they’ll see her betrayal reflecting in her eyes.

(it’s not a betrayal if you kill the mastermind except it still is because they don’t know that they think tsumugi shirogane is just the super high school level cosplayer who could never hurt a fly and they’re wrong wrong _wrong_ _wrong_ _**wrong** ) _

Himiko bites down on her lip so hard that it bleeds. She wipes her mouth on her sleeve quickly, before Tenko can notice and call attention to it. As much as she cares about Tenko, Himiko had forgotten how overbearing she usually was.

Still. Tenko was _alive_ now somehow. Being watched over constantly by her was better than the silent nights that she had spent all alone, crying into her pillow and desperately begging it to all be a nightmare.

Momota is the last one to enter the cafeteria, rushing in with only one slipper on, apologizing vehemently for sleeping in. He slumps down in one of the open chairs, and that’s when Himiko knows it’s coming. Akamatsu and Saihara glance back and forth a few times, trying to figure out what’s going on.

“Has anyone seen Shirogane-san today?” Akamatsu asks, standing up on a chair and looking around the room, “She’s usually earlier than this.”

Angie replies first, “Well, Angie hasn’t actually seen her, but Kami-sama told her that Tsumugi is taking a really long sleep. Maybe she’s tired from sewing all night!”

Akamatsu smiles weakly, “I… see. Anybody else?”

Ouma smiles too, though the look in his eyes reflects a different emotion entirely, “I think _I_ know where she is, Akamatsu-chan! The game’s afoot!”

Akamatsu’s expression darkens. When she speaks, her words are quick and concise, “We all promised that we wouldn’t kill each other.”

“I don’t recall agreeing to a promise like that,” Ouma muses, leaning from side to side in his chair, almost like a pendulum.

(Himiko’s mind flashes to a girl swinging back and forth by her neck, slamming into piano keys and breaking her bones as she suffocates.)

Harukawa rolls her eyes and leans back in her seat, “She probably just overslept. It’s not something that I would put past her. If you’re so damn worried, go to her room and wake her up.”

“Fine,” Akamatsu says, “I’ll go… and Gonta-kun, could you come with me? And maybe…”

Hoshi pipes up, “I’ll go with you too.”

Akamatsu nods, “Thanks, Hoshi-kun. Okay, the three of us will check on Shirogane-san and make sure that she’s alright.”

She casts a quick glance at Saihara, who is currently staring very hard at the table, then says, “Toujou-san? Can you make sure that nobody… you know… while we’re gone?”

Toujou dips her head, “I will do everything in my power.”

Akamatsu, Gonta, and Hoshi begin making their way out, when Ouma leaps from his chair and runs after them, calling, “I want to go too, Akamatsu-chan!”

Himiko runs her hands over her skirt again and again, smoothing out non-existent wrinkles out of desperation to stay calm.

And then the announcement goes off.

_“A body has been discovered! Everyone please gather at the location of the corpse, the dormitories!”_

There’s screams. Kiibo is emitting the most unholy noise Himiko has ever heard, Momota is in hysterics, tears are rolling down Tenko’s face, and even Harukawa looks distressed for a second. Toujou’s voice is ignored amongst the chaos.

And suddenly, people start running, and despite knowing exactly what they’re about to uncover, Himiko follows the crowd.

(When they find the body, Himiko hides behind Tenko so that she doesn’t have to see it a second time.)

-

The Class Trial is no less nerve wracking the seventh time around, especially considering that this time, she’s the blackened. The debate seems to be going in circles, but Himiko can’t focus on it for very long, otherwise her head spins.

“The killer would have to be someone that Shirogane-san trusted,” Saihara states tentatively, “since she let them into her room at midnight.”

Hoshi responds, “There would be no reason for her to do that. She wasn’t particularly close to anyone here, nor did she seem particularly trusting.”

Shinguuji says, “Could it simply be that the culprit forced the lock open? Then trust wouldn’t be an issue. All they had to do was get inside and kill Shirogane-san.”

“You’ve got that wrong!” Akamatsu shouts, throwing out her arm, “Shirogane-san’s door showed no signs of being forced open.”

Harukawa grumbles, “Then the lock was picked. Isn’t that the obvious answer?” She finishes this with a pointed glance at Ouma.

He bats his eyelashes, “Something you'd like to share with the class, Harukawa-chan? Oh! Or maybe, you're trying to pin your murder onto me!”

Harukawa curls her fists tight shooting ice at the short boy, “Do you want to die?”

Momota waves his arm quickly, “Okay, okay! So if somebody picked the lock, then they’d need some kind of tool for it, right?”

Ouma adds, “Then Iruma-chan is the obvious suspect. I’m sure she has an arsenal on her side!”

Iruma deflects, “Pssh. No matter _what_ is on my side, that’s none of your fucking business. And besides, any virgin cunt can pick a lock with a hairpin or a paperclip, even your bitch ass.”

“It seems that we are back at the beginning, then,” Toujou lowers her head, “and we still have nothing to go off of.”

Amami says, “Well, maybe we should shift our focus for a bit. We can return to how the culprit got into Shirogane-san’s room later.”

Angie says, “Kami-sama says that we should all talk about the murder weapon! So… why don’t we do that, hm?”

“The weapon was a knife!” Kiibo chirps helpfully.

Saihara adds, “To be specific, it was one of the kitchen knives.”

Gonta crosses his arms in frustration, “But doesn’t that mean that anyone could have used it? Gonta goes to the kitchen every day!”

Toujou says, “I’m often in there myself. And most of us do pass through at least once a day.”

“It appears that we’ve arrived at a stalemate yet again,” Shinguuji says thoughtfully, stroking his chin.

Momota shakes his fist, “Hey, doesn’t this fucking bother you? We’re all gonna die if we don’t discover who the culprit is!”

Himiko tugs on her hat, “Maybe… we should all just give up.”

Iruma crosses her arms, “I’m sure as hell not fucking dying here!”

Himiko lowers her eyes. She doesn’t know where she went wrong - Shirogane was the ringleader, without a doubt. So why is the game still progressing? Did she go wrong along the way? Or perhaps, Shirogane wasn’t working alone. But then with whom?

She sneaks a peek around the courtroom, and her eyes settle on Amami. He would be perfect as a partner, and they had lived through killing games together before, so why not now?

(The rational part of her mind tells her that that isn’t even remotely possible, but Himiko doesn’t want to listen to that anymore.)

“Hey, Chabashira-san?” Akamatsu asks, shaking Himiko from her stupor, “You’ve been really quiet up until now. Is there anything that you want to say?”

Himiko looks past Ouma to see Tenko looking dejected and nervous. The black haired girl croses her arms and says, “Tenko… isn’t sure about what she saw.”

Angie says, “Tenko should tell us what she did see, though! And Angie can ask Kami-sama about it to confirm.”

Hoshi adds, “We can’t exactly move on unless we get some new information. Anything you can tell us will help at this point.”

Kiibo cries, “Please, Chabashira-san!”

Tenko looks at her feet, “Tenko… can’t. She’s more than likely wrong, anyways.”

Iruma says, “Just fucking say it, Nyabashira. We don’t have all day!”

Tenko’s face flushes, “O-Okay. Tenko… Tenko knows who took the knife from the kitchen.”

Chaos erupts in the trial room. Himiko bites down on her lip and curses herself. She didn’t think that Tenko would be a liability. She should have known better, than to steal the knife while she was with the dark haired girl.

Above it all, Momota screams, “HEY! WHAT THE _FUCK?!”_

Harukawa raises an eyebrow, “Why didn’t you mention that sooner? The entire case hinges on that, because it’s just about everything we know.”

Saihara tries to placate them, “I’m sure she had a good reason for-”

“What good reason could she possibly have for aiding the culprit?” Shinguuji cut in, “After all, only the true murderer can get out of here. Chabashira-san would have just been executed along with the rest of us."

Gonta responds, “We cannot demonize her for one mistake.”

Amami says, “Withholding information isn’t a mistake, it’s a conscious choice on her part.”

Hoshi lowers his hat, “Can you really talk on the matter of withholding? You still haven’t told everyone what your talent is.”

Amami freezes. When he speaks, his words are quiet, “I don’t remember what it is.”

Ouma grins, “Nishishi~! I thought I was the only liar around here, but it look like I have some kindred spirits after all!”

“Hush, menace!” Tenko snaps, “Tenko is nothing like you!”

Ouma’s smile drops, “But you don’t deny the fact that you were lying?”

Tenko raises her arms defensively, “D-Don’t put words in Tenko’s mouth! It’s like she said, she wasn’t sure if she really saw what she did. It might have just been… a trick of the light.”

Akamatsu says kindly, “Please, we’re desperate. You’re our only hope, Chabashira-san!”

Tenko takes a deep breath, then leans forward over her stand so that she’s looking at Himiko. Her words are quiet, “Yumeno-san? Please tell Tenko that she’s wrong. Tell Tenko that she didn’t see you take the knife.”

All eyes fall on Himiko. A few whispers break out amongst them, but all Himiko can hear is Tenko’s voice, and the raw fear behind it.

“Tell… Tell Tenko that she made a mistake,” she says again, “Tell her that Yumeno-san was just cutting some fruit to eat, and that Tenko didn’t see you put the knife back.”

Himiko looks at the floor, unable to meet Tenko’s eyes.

Tenko is nothing short of begging now, tears streaming down her face, “Yumeno-san, please! Tell Tenko she’s wrong! _T-Tell me that I’m wrong!”_

Her voice is a cacophony amongst an orchestral sea, filling the high ceilinged room and echoing around in every direction, crashing down like a wave of sorrow over the students. And there’s nothing that Himiko can do for her anymore.

“I’m sorry…” she murmurs, “If I told you that, I’d be lying. I took the knife, and I killed Shirogane. That’s all there is to it.”

Tenko clutches her stand so hard that her knuckles turn white, “NO! _NO!”_

Himiko doesn’t take her eyes off the ground.

The vote is almost unanimous. On the left side of the screen that hangs in the trial room, the names of the surviving students are listed, while the right side of it shows who they voted for. The only dissonance is right in the middle, where Himiko sees that Tenko voted for herself.

After that, everything happens in a blur, as if someone has pressed fast-forward on what little remains of Himiko’s life.

At one point, cold metal clamps around her neck and she’s pulled away, her hat flying off across the room. Tenko reaches out for her, her face puffy and dripping with tears, but their fingers only just brush before Himiko is tugged too far into the air.

Tied to a conveyor belt on her back, Himiko can only hear the sound of the buzzsaw as she gets closer and closer to it. The only noise louder than the violent machinery that is destined to end her life is the sound of her heart.

Bits of her hair snip away, and Himiko shuts her eyes the second before the saw enters her skull. For one moment, she experiences excruciating pain like nothing that she’s never known.

And then everything

stops.

  
  
  
  
  


And Himiko wakes up inside of a locker in a classroom.

-

She falls out of the locker this time, hitting the floor with a resounding thud. Her head is still screaming in pain, though it doesn’t hurt as badly as it did when she was on the belt.

Himiko pulls herself to her feet, leaning on one of the desks. So. If she dies, she gets sent right back to the start? Unless this is a hell reserved exclusively for a sinner such as her. Actually, Himiko thinks that there might not even be a circle deep enough for her.

She doesn’t get any more time to think, because at that moment, Iruma steps out of her own locker, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“Christ almighty, you’re tiny,” she mutters, “The fuck are you, twelve?”

Himiko swallows the bile in her mouth before she speaks, “I’m sixteen… My name is Himiko Yumeno, ‘nd I'm a mage.”

Iruma snorts, “Coulda fucking fooled me. You probably recognize me, but just in case your impy brain can't remember, I'm the great Miu Iruma! You could call me the savant of this world.”

Himiko nods along. She has to figure out where she went wrong, and how she can fix it this time.

The saw hums in the back of her mind, reminding her of what awaits should she fail.

-

She almost hugs Tenko when she introduces herself. Instead, Himiko stays rooted to her spot and does everything in her power to avoid bursting into tears.

Tenko is here, Tenko is with her, Tenko has no idea that she's talking to a girl who she condemned for murder in another life.

_(it's okay it's okay you can start over)_

Himiko holds back a scream.

She clings to Tenko’s side as if she's her shadow, not unlike Saihara to Akamatsu. She doesn't want to make Tenko cry ever again. And if she stays like this, she can’t hurt her.

Himiko pretends. Whenever she interacts with her classmates - if she can even think of them as that - she acts as if nothing ever happened. It gets easier the more she does it. All she has to do is rescind into the lazy, apathetic girl that she was the first time.

The only one she can’t pretend around is Shirogane, because whenever she sees the cosplayer, Himiko feels the urge to retch. Luckily, the blue haired girl doesn’t make an effort to come in contact with her, being more attached to her own worlds.

Himiko doesn’t have a plan this time, because starting at the source of their problems only made things worse for her before. The only difference now is that Monokuma hasn't imposed a time limit. But even with more time, she feels lost. She tries to think out an approach, to figure out _something_ rational, but her thoughts walk in circles.

Does she stop Akamatsu from setting the library trap? No, Akamatsu is stubborn and will find a way to talk her out of it. Saihara will inevitably tell her about the secret door, no matter what Himiko tries to do, at this point. Current Saihara is a lost cause. And Shirogane is out of the question.

Amami, then. Himiko has to figure out how to stop Amami from dying, unless she wants to find him lying in a heap on the carpet again, blood spilling from his head like a fountain.

(She wishes that she had a whiteboard.)

-

The silence in the air makes her heart feel as if it will leap out of her chest.

Himiko stands in the darkened corner near the library, watching for any fragment of movement. Sometimes, the shadows waver, and she hears snippets of someone else’s conversation. It isn’t until late that evening when Amami finally arrives.

“Amami! W-Wait a moment!” Himiko shouts, rushing out of the darkness as soon as his hand touches the door.

The green haired boy turns, confusion flickering onto his face at the sight of her, “Yumeno-san? What are you doing here?”

Himiko ignores his question, “Will you come with me? I… I want to show you some magic.”

Amami raises an eyebrow, “You… do?”

It strikes Himiko that this is the most emotion she’s shown since she last woke up. She tries to amend, “I wanna have a show… but I gotta practice on someone first. Please?”

“Okay,” Amami gives in, a gentle smile coming onto his face, “Where should we go?”

Himiko hums, “Ehh… anywhere is fine. My room’ll work, if that suits you, but I just wanna be out of the hallways.”

Amami gives her a strange look, but it quickly vanished, “That works for me. Let’s go, then. I’m curious to see what a Super High School Level Magician like yourself can do.”

“I’m a mage, not a magician!” Himiko pouts. Amami chuckles.

Himiko keeps Amami up until three in the morning, entertaining him with every trick that she can muster. It’s more difficult now, knowing in the back of her mind that her talent is fake, but she doesn’t slip enough for him to notice. Or at least, if he does, he’s kind enough not to mention it.

(why did she ever think that he was working with shirogane?)

Eventually, he bids goodnight to her and descends the stairs. Himiko shadows him, making sure that he actually goes back to his room, just in case. She hovers on the staircase for a while, looking down on his room, but the door doesn’t open again.

Satisfied, Himiko returns to her own room and passes out with a smile on her face.

-

In the morning, Amami is found sitting at a table in the cafeteria with a knife in his neck.

Himiko finds herself too stunned to cry.

-

At the trial, Saihara is found guilty. Still, no matter how many times the black haired boy insists that he was Amami’s killer, it rings hollow in Himiko’s ears.

She can’t stop sneaking glances at Shirogane, either, who seems almost _pleased_ with herself. Himiko bites the skin on her fingers as she votes, choosing the detective only to save her own life.

(How selfish.)

Saihara rises onto a stage, a metal clamp around his neck. He dances around the party guests swinging weapons at his head, until he comes to a woman in a scarlet dress holding a revolver. He barely has time to close his eyes before she shoots six holes in him.

Himiko doesn’t blink once.

-

Akamatsu is wearing his hat the next morning.

Himiko doesn’t have time to worry about her - Akamatsu is strong at heart and will recover soon enough - and she doesn’t have an inkling of what will happen next.

If the same motive returns, then she has to keep an eye on Hoshi and make sure that he doesn’t get cornered by Toujou. She doesn’t know how much good that will do him though, considering what happened to Amami.

But she can’t sit back and watch it all happen again, can’t hide in the backdrop of this sick, sick television production. If she doesn’t act, then nothing will change, and she loses all chances of being able to save the people still breathing.

So, the afternoon after it opens, Himiko steels herself, then knocks on the door to Hoshi’s talent lab.

There’s a long silence. Himiko waits, then knocks again. After she finally thinks that he just isn’t there, the door opens a crack.

Hoshi’s voice is quiet, “Can I help you?”

Himiko wrings her hands, the words that she planned to say slipping out and fading away. She quickly says, “I wanted to see you? Because, um, you seem nice ‘n all."

Hoshi replies, “I’ve killed people, Yumeno. There’s nothing ‘nice’ about that.”

“But you don’t do it anymore,” Himiko argues, poking her own cheek, “Sooooo… there’s gotta be somethin’ worth saving.”

Hoshi looks at her strangely. His eyes look her up and down until he finally says, “You’re a strange kid. But thanks, I guess.”

They stand in the doorway and talk for a while longer, not saying much of value. At the end of the day, though, Himiko counts it as a victory, because Hoshi smiles exactly once during their conversation.

-

She ends up spending most of her time with Hoshi, at least, whenever she can shake Tenko off of her. Particularly, right after the motive videos are given out, she sits on the edge of a bin containing tennis balls in his lab, swinging her legs back and forth.

“I think we just… shouldn’t bother with the videos,” Himiko says absently. She still remembers what was on Iruma’s video, unfortunately.

Hoshi glances at the back of the room, a hint of guilt in his gaze. He already watched Harukawa’s, then. Himiko finds herself unsurprised.

He says quietly, “I want to know what’s waiting for me. I know that it’s supposed to entice us to kill, but… I know there has to be _something_ important on my video.”

Himiko bites her lip, “I mean, that makes sense ‘n all. But I dunno if it’ll end well.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Hoshi says, “I tried going to Harukawa to exchange videos, but she refused to even open her door. So I doubt I’ll see it any time soon.”

Himiko nods silently, forcing herself not to smile. Things are changing already. Maybe she’ll be able to keep everyone else alive this time. Even though she couldn’t save Amami and Saihara, there’s still everyone else who died before remaining.

And then somebody knocks on the door.

Hoshi gets to his feet, “That’ll be Toujou, then.”

“T-Toujou?” Himiko’s eyes go wide.

(She didn’t configure Toujou into her plan she made a mistake Hoshi is going to _die in front of her_ )

Himiko ducks behind the bin, her heart beating vehemently. Hoshi gives her a strange look, but then goes to answer the door. She can only watch as the maid walks in, murderous intent gleaming in her eyes.

When Hoshi turns away, Himiko dashes out of hiding, shoving out of the way of the board that Toujou is holding over her head. Unfortunately, she forgets to account for herself, because as soon as she sees that Hoshi has fallen over by the wall, she registers the board smacking down on her own head.

Blood runs into her eyes, blinding her. She screams until her lungs burn out, or maybe she doesn’t make any noise at all.

 

Then, without warning, Himiko wakes up inside of a locker in a classroom.

-

She grips the sides of the locker, holding herself in place. Her head hurts even worse than it did after her encounter with the saw.

Slowly, her heartbeat relaxes, but her head continues to throb. It takes her a solid three minutes to finally push the door open.

Iruma is already there, sitting on one of the desks and idly swinging her legs. At the sound of the creaking door, she looks over and says, “You look like you just emerged from a fucking train wreck.”

Himiko thinks that that might just be the most sensible thing Iruma’s ever said, but only because she feels like it too. Weakly, she smiles and croaks out, “Are you Miu Iruma?”

“In the fucking flesh!” she beams, looking overjoyed at the recognition, “And you should be honoured to be in my magnificent presence.”

Himiko’s smile wavers.

-

This time, she plans. Plans written on scrap pieces of paper, hidden away from all sets of prying eyes, whether they be human or ursine. Every little detail that she can work out, she scribbles onto a napkin so that it doesn’t escape her.

In fact, Himiko plans ahead so much that she forgets about the present, forgets that she is operating on an unstable timeline. Her focus on the future becomes her downfall, because come the same evening, Amami is dead in the library again.

(Akamatsu is executed at the trial. Himiko isn’t surprised.)

She stays out of the way during this loop. Getting directly involved seems to be the key to disaster, so Himiko hovers on the edge of the stage, becoming a secondary character in her own motion picture. (Tenko of course, is her exception, but isn’t she _always_ Himiko’s exception?)

To the others, she whispers words in passing. Her time with them is always fleeting enough that they don’t come after her, desperate to know why she passed on the information.

Saihara gets words of encouragement, few and far in between, but enough to stop him from crying on the staircase at two in the morning. Momota receives chastisement, a gentle reminder to perhaps tone down on his nastier behaviour.

And to Shirogane, she whispers a warning.

“I won’t lose.”

The cosplayer doesn’t look back when Himiko says this, at first leading her to believe that she didn’t hear her. But the next time they cross paths in the school, Shirogane murmurs back a sentence of her own.

“I don’t believe you.”

Himiko falls into a pattern of manipulation. She's quiet and consistent enough so that she's not questioned, but can never quite be ignored.

During late evening, Himiko perches on the kitchen counter, remarking to Toujou offhandedly how curious it was that Ouma seemed to have given up after seeing his motive video.

Toujou had barely responded, too occupied with scrubbing the grime out of the sink.

(Come the following afternoon, she would be executed for the supreme leader’s murder, and that was too bad, really.)

(( **you killed them both.** ))

[ _i saved hoshi._ ]

(( **and let two others die in the process. you are no better than shirogane or team Dangan Ronpa you caused this despair you caused this despair you** **_caused it._ ** ))

[ _i did not._ ]

-

As soon as Angie declares her student council, Himiko joins without a second thought. She’s been neglecting Angie during these loops, she realizes. This is her chance to make up for that, and perhaps find a way to save the artist’s life.

Predictably, Tenko joins as soon as Himiko does. She tries not to snap, she really does, but being treating like a small animal is tiresome, to say the least.

(( **you promised not to use that word again.** ))

Himiko doesn’t question anything that Angie proposes and merely keeps a quiet eye on her. She observes the students who declined to join - or rather, weren’t invited to, as Angie later remarks - watching for any out of the ordinary behaviour.

Shinguuji, of course, is the most suspicious. But there’s not much that Himiko can do about him quite yet, besides keep a careful eye on him, and pray that she doesn’t need to act.

-

Himiko sits quietly between Tenko and Kiibo in the circle that has formed in Angie’s talent lab. Student Council meetings will take place here, at least for the time being. Angie wants to expand, though, and as soon as possible.

Himiko can count the number of differences between this timeline and the original on one hand, but the fact that there _are_ differences troubles her.

Gonta is seated beside Kiibo, taking his place across from Angie, as he is the newest member.

(On his other side is Shirogane, smiling innocently as ever. Himiko can’t look in her direction without feeling her stomach churn. This shouldn't be happening.)

Angie clasps her hands together, a bright smile on her face, “Okay! Angie declares that the first meeting of the Student Council will begin now, unless anyone has any objections!”

Nobody in the room speaks, but before Angie can speak again, she’s interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Angie springs to her feet and skips over, appearing to be delighted that another one of their classmates had seen ‘the light.’

Himiko tries to do a cursory scan of the room, but doesn’t have time to process the information before the door swings open to reveal a very jittery Miu Iruma.

Iruma didn’t join the first time. Himiko stares blankly at her, trying to figure out what Angie must have said to her to get her to become a member of the council.

“Miu!” Angie tries to hug the blonde, only for her to duck under her arms and slip into the room. Angie chirps, “It’s so good to see you here. Did our conversation resonate with you?”

Iruma tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, “Yeah, sure. Sure fucking did.”

Angie bounces on her heels, clearly waiting for her to elaborate.

“C-Cause fucking like… if my God is a gorgeous woman,” Iruma splutters, “though not as gorgeous as yours truly, then why the fuck would I _not_ want to be here, even if it means spending time with you cucks?”

Satisfied, Angie drags Iruma over to the circle. As she begins to talk about rules to be enforced within the group and the school as a whole, Himiko zones out.

This wasn’t in her poorly designed plans. She doesn’t have a clue how to account for Iruma, now that she’s wormed her way into a place she doesn’t belong in.

(To her credit, Iruma finds her God in Tenko, a beautiful woman who will never let her go. Himiko’s stomach tightens only slightly when she encounters the two in the darkness of the dormitories, Tenko standing on tip-toe to reach Iruma’s lips.)

-

Angie lies still on the floor of her own talent lab. Himiko wishes that she could be sleeping.

She had spent too much effort working around Iruma - wondering if she would still try to kill, since Ouma is dead this time around, if she could get killed by one of the remaining students, if she would make it to the end - around Shirogane - whose actions make no sense - and no where near enough preventing Shinguuji from committing murder.

Silent tears run down her face as she stares at the body of her friend, before her knees give out and she hits the planks with a resounding thud.

Angie is dead and gone and (( **you killed her.** ))

[ _maybe._ ]

-

She can’t stop the ritual from happening. Himiko knows that it’s too late to prevent it, so all she can do is stop Tenko from getting into the cage.

The person who gets in the cage doesn’t come out alive. _The person who gets in the cage doesn’t come out alive._

One of them will have to die if they’re going to proceed. Her stomach twists, acidic bile rising up her throat, burning the whole way there.

Himiko considers slitting Shinguuji’s throat before the trial. Her murder would be nullified this time around, and it would stop him from hurting anyone else.

But that would mean losing what little trust the others have in her. And she doesn’t know if she could take the anthropologist in a fight, if it came to it. The prospect of waking up in the locker again doesn’t appeal to her in the slightest.

(Or maybe the loop will end this time. Maybe this time she can die and finally be free.)

Himiko bites down on her lip and continues onwards. Maybe there’s a way around it, and they can reach the trial with only one murder.

(( **you’re just trying to placate yourself.** ))

[ _please stop._ ]

The students who chose to attend the ritual file into the room mechanically, following Shinguuji’s words like they belong to a saint, not a sinner. Himiko can’t hear a single word anyone says, her mind only on the cage.

Shinguuji is going to murder whoever gets in that cage, and she’s running out of time.

“Now… we must select a medium,” Shinguuji practically purrs, “As the deceased we wish to contact is female, so must be the vessel her spirit arrives in.”

Himiko swallows the anxiety building in her mouth, “I-I’ll do it.”

Tenko instantly throws out her arm, “You don’t have to, Yumeno-san! Tenko can be the medium instead.”

“No…” Himiko says, “I want… I want to be able to help.”

Tenko responds, “You will! And… and Yumeno-san wants to talk to Angie-san again, right? Tenko will do it, even if it means following the plan of a menace.”

Sweat rolls down Himiko’s cheek, “You don’t have to try and protect me. I… I have to…”

On the other side of the small room, Shirogane raises her hand, “If you want, I could be the vessel. That way you both can talk to Angie-san again! I wasn’t particularly close to her before, and I’m certain that you two miss her more than I do.”

Himiko freezes in place, confused, while Tenko clasps her hands, “You are too kind, Shirogane-san!”

_What is she doing?!_

Shirogane is the ringleader, she’s a genius. She must know that _something_ is wrong, that this won’t end well for her. Himiko desperately wants to know, but she doesn’t have the MP to perform a scan like this.

(( **you don’t have MP at all you never did stop** **_lying_ ** **to yourself.** ))

[ _i can’t._ ]

Shirogane lies on the floor, and the cage is placed over her. Himiko stares blankly until the lights go out, forcing her eyes shut. She grips Tenko’s hand tight, scared that if she lets go, she’ll be the corpse again.

When the light comes back on, Saihara screams and Tenko does too, but Himiko can only stare at Shirogane’s cadaver and wish that it was the first time she had seen it.

At least now she’s certain that Shinguuji will burn.

-

Hoshi bleeds and Iruma drowns and Harukawa chokes and Gonta bursts and Momota passes in his sleep.

And four remain.

-

“I… am the fifty-third Junko Enoshima,” a nervous, teetering brunette with a Team _Dangan Ronpa_ emblem etched on her shirt says, “And I was the ringleader behind your killing game all along!”

Himiko stares blankly at this girl, having never seen her before in her life. Tenko and Kiibo look just as confused as she does.

Saihara, however, has no such reservations, “Then I take it that you’re the missing student? Haruka Saito?”

She beams, though her face is trembling, “Y-You got me! I put all of you in this game, like the people before me have.”

Tenko cuts in, “What missing student? This is the first Tenko is hearing of anything like that.”

Saihara responds, “I found a folder in my talent lab. Most of it was blotted out, but the uncensored content revealed the presence of a seventeenth student.”

Himiko looks over at Haruka Saito again, still confused. She’s young, young enough to at least pass for a student, if she isn’t actually one. There’s dark circles under her eyes, and she occasionally sneaks a glance at a piece of paper tucked into her pocket.

Is she an intern? Was Shirogane one too? Himiko realizes that this is perhaps why the killing game didn’t end the first time around - because Team _Dangan Ronpa_ still had children to spare. They had any number of willing sacrifices in their back pocket.

How foolish she was, then, to assume that she could end the killing game by herself.

“I’m glad you all played along, really,” Saito says, “but now it’s time for the vote.”

Tenko gulps, “What vote?”

Saito replies, “Well, there can only be two winners. So, two of you can be declared the survivors of this particular killing game, while the third must be a sacrifice.”

“But there are four of us!” Kiibo protests.

Saito smiles sickly, “It’s funny that _you_ be the one to bring this up, Kiibo-kun. We need you for the next killing game, obviously, so you can’t be in either of those positions. Obviously, that makes you exempt from voting as well.”

Kiibo tries to protest, but instead falls still, and the light on his eyes drains. His arms occasionally spasm at his sides, as though he’s trying to fight with what little he has left, before he freezes entirely.

Himiko’s mouth dries out.

On the little screens attached to their podiums, three pixel faces come up, each backed by the person’s signature colour.

“You’ll vote for the person that you want to sacrifice,” Saito says, “a-and if there’s a tie, then I’ll vote myself. But I don’t think we’ll have that problem.”

Himiko’s mind races, and she shouts the first thing that comes to mind, “We… We won’t vote! You can’t ensnare us like this… This is just your last attempt at getting us to kill each other.”

Saito replies, “A tie of zero is still a tie. So if none of you vote, then I get to pick who dies here. So please, don’t hold back! Which of your dear friends will you s-send to the grave?”

Tenko is looking down at her screen, horrified. Her hand hovers over the options, and she seems lost, from the way she keeps moving her hand back and forth over the three buttons. Finally, her hand comes to a still over the icon with her own face on it.

“Tenko, no!” Himiko screeches. She can’t let Tenko die, but she doesn’t want Saihara to die either.

The black haired girl replies, “Why not? Tenko… Tenko isn’t going to let the people she cares about die instead of her! It’s the best way!”

“H-How do you think I feel?” Himiko challenges, her throat burning, “Do you think I want to watch you _die_?!”

It takes all her willpower to not add ‘again’ to the end of her sentence.

Tenko responds by bursting into tears.

Saihara says weakly, “I have a solution to your dilemma..”

Himiko blinks, “D-Do you?”

Saihara nods, then presses one of the options on his screen. On the massive monitor attached to the wall, a tick appears next to his own name.

Tenko screeches, “Saihara-san! Why did you vote for yourself?!”

Saihara replies softly, “Because one of us has to die here. I solved the problem by choosing me. You two… vote for me. Escape together, find some meaning in your lives. It’s the best possible outcome here.”

“N-No…” Tenko murmurs, “Tenko… Tenko won’t do it! She can’t!”

“Please,” Saihara says, “I’m asking you to do this… at the very least for my sake. Yumeno-san, can I trust you to do this?”

Himiko stares at him for a long time. Then, she silently nods and presses the button with Saihara’s pixel face. Another tick appears on the monitor next to his name.

Finally, with tears streaming down her face, Tenko complies with Saihara’s final wish.

Saito smiles, but Himiko can see the stress lines on her face, and how her lips twitch as she speaks, “Oh! A unanimous vote, then. Well, congratulations to Chabashira-san and Yumeno-san for winning the fifty-third killing game!”

Himiko closes her eyes. She can’t watch Saihara die, not again, and especially not like this. She hears him scream, and hears how it slowly fades into the background, as if he’s being taken far, far away. In the darkness, Tenko’s hand slips into her own.

Then, with Tenko’s guidance, she starts to walk. Himiko doesn’t open her eyes until she’s certain that they’re standing in the elevator. The doors close, and then, the elevator begins to rise, going higher than it would if they were just returning to the shrine. Tenko doesn’t let go of her hand once, in fact, her grip only grows tighter.

Slowly, the elevator stops. The doors slide open, letting a harsh, white light in. Himiko squints, holding her free hand up to her eyes. She and Tenko exchange glances, then nod once and take the first step out together.

It’s going to be worth it, worth all the suffering, Himiko thinks, they made it out, _together,_ and-

  
  
  
  
  


And Himiko wakes up inside of a locker in a classroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly a month later, here's the second chapter! Enjoy!

In an instant, Himiko falls to her knees, banging against the locker door and collapsing on the floor in a heap.

Of _course_ getting out wouldn’t save her. Why would it? It didn’t work the very first time, when she watched the killing game blind. Her mouth feels like something died inside of it.

Across the room, the locker that Iruma must be inside of rattles, alerting her that the (dead) inventor is awake. Himiko shoots up, narrowly avoiding banging her shin on one of the desks, and sprints out of the room before Iruma can see her.

Her heart threatens to spill out of her mouth as she runs, the pumping organ squeezing and pulsing around her throat. She has to get out before anyone can find her, she won’t risk her life again.

Her shoes echo through the hallways as they repeatedly impact the stone. Himiko doesn’t stop once, not even to ensure that she hasn’t been noticed by any of the others yet.

There’s the dorm building. Himiko sprints across the courtyard, throws open the door, then speeds up the staircase. She doesn’t stop moving until she reaches the room that has her own face above it and slips inside.

Her heart rate doesn’t slow for ten and a half minutes.

-

This time, she doesn’t interfere in the slightest. In fact, Himiko doesn’t even bother trying to introduce herself. What’s the point? If she gets involved even in the slightest, she gets sent back to the beginning.

The loop will end this time, she’s almost sure of it. Stealing and saving lives isn’t working, so she’ll remain, and it will all be over.

And if the others would stop banging on her door long enough to give her a peace of mind, that would be great too.

“They might not be in,” Saihara points out, as someone finishes hammering, “It’s fruitless to keep trying, and risk knocking the building down.”

“Mmm… a couple more times should do it! Kiiboy, keep knocking!” Ouma says almost playfully, and Himiko scowls into her pillow.

Kiibo sounds distressed, “Isn’t it rude, though? And even if our missing classmate is inside, perhaps we should leave them to rest a while longer.”

Ouma responds, “I told you to keep knocking! You heard me, right Saihara-chan?”

Saihara says, “Don’t listen to him, Kiibo-kun. We should leave whoever this is alone.”

The voices begin to fade out, and Himiko closes her eyes in relief. She’s tired, so tired. How many days has it been since she’s really slept? Do any of them count, considering they didn’t really seem to happen?

Why is she the only person that remembers?

She bites down on her pillow to avoid screaming into it.

-

Himiko dreams.

Steel balls and swinging ropes, water tanks and thorns, katanas and kamas and fire, hammers and toilet paper and bugs, hydraulic presses and rocketships, and rubble.

And that’s only one dream. So many deaths that happened, and even a few that didn’t haunt her mind every time she closes her eyes. Nightmares appear to be side effects of killing games, and she’s lived through far, far too many.

“Let me die for real this time,” Himiko murmurs during the night, in between grotesque images of Momota’s body rotting and Toujou being shot by hundreds of machine guns at once.

The ceiling doesn’t answer her.

-

It’s late - or at least, Himiko assumes that it must be, judging by the lack of traffic in the dorm area - when the knocking starts again. She hugs her pillow to her chest, half to stop herself from thinking about the hunger pangs, and half so that she doesn’t throw the door open and strangle whoever is bothering her.

Luckily, the knocking stops after three harsh raps. She thinks for a blissful moment that she’s safe, when there’s another thud, and a sliding noise.

“I know that you’re in there,” Hoshi’s baritone is completely unmistakable, “I won’t make you come out, though. Do whatever you’d like.”

Himiko sits up, blearily rubbing her eyes and resisting the urge to yawn. She can’t figure out why Hoshi, of all people, is sitting outside her door on this night.

He speaks again, quieter this time, “I don’t know exactly what you’re trying to do. I understand the fear of being killed… but you’re either going to starve to death in there, or the bears will make you come out."

Himiko shudders at the thought of the overbearing Monokubs appearing in her room and forcing her into the open. She wouldn’t put it past them, considering their history.

Hoshi adds, “Whatever you’re thinking… about killing, or surviving, or anything… No, I shouldn’t say any more. I’ll just make things worse, somehow.”

Himiko hesitates. She waits a moment, then another, then gets to her feet and teeters over to the door. She opens it only a crack, just so that she can see Hoshi, but that he can hardly see her. Her voice cracks as she speaks, “Go away.”

“So you are still alive,” Hoshi says glancing up at her, “Huh. I could have sworn that you were already a goner.”

Himiko raises her voice as loud as it will go, “I told you to go away.”

Hoshi gets to his feet, “Message received. Sorry for interfering… Guess I just didn’t want to see you end up like me.”

 _I appreciate the thought,_ Himiko thinks, but the words won’t come out her mouth. Instead, she just stares at Hoshi, refusing the break eye contact until she slams the door in his face. It’s too late for her, anyways. Maybe this time is the last time, the real last time. If this is how her life ends, she’d be okay with that. Anything is better than the loop she’s been forced into.

She crawls back to bed, exhaustion overtaking her tiny body. Her head hits the pillow, and in an instant, she passes out.

 

 

 

When morning comes, Himiko wakes up inside of a locker in a classroom.

-

Somehow, this is worse than the saw. Himiko feels weak in every respect, and her knees give out instantly. She kneels drowsily on the ground, rubbing her eyes. There isn’t a single part of her body that is functioning perfectly, leaving her as a half baked human.

She convulses, retching onto her knees and the floor, but only a clear, burning liquid comes out. There’s nothing in her stomach besides digestive acid anymore. She clutches her knees, despite the gross fluid soaking them, as tears bubble in the corners of her eyes.

Why can’t she die yet?! What does she have to do for it to end?!

She digs her nails into her skin, but they’re so ragged from being bit down that nothing comes of it.

The locker across the room swings open, and Iruma steps out, completely unaware of anything that’s transpired. Of course, everyone is oblivious to the fact that Himiko can’t stop going back through time. How does she make it stop? Saving one person means letting another die, and escaping through either the elevator or the release of death only brings her back to the start.

“Hey, cutting board!” Iruma shouts, “Man, the fuck does it take to get you to listen? Wait, are you hard of hearing, or some shit like that? Cause I could totally build you an aid better than what you’ve dreamed of!”

Himiko wipes her face on her sleeve, then groans, “I don’t… I don’t feel good…”

Iruma’s eyes widen, and she rushes towards Himiko and pulls her into her arms, “Oh no, don’t die on me, you cuck!”

Himiko doesn’t have the strength to respond.

-

After the first day, Iruma stops randomly checking on her. It’s much to Himiko’s relief, as the blonde has no sense of subtlety whatsoever. Though, when it does cease, she finds herself missing the attention, just a little bit.

Being left to her own devices is what she needs more than anything, though. Alone in her room, Himiko plots out on a piece of spare paper what has worked, and what hasn’t. Taking action does seem to be the best way to move forwards, but not enough so that it gets her killed instead.

Her hands quake at the thought of plunging the knife through Shirogane’s skin, feeling blood run onto her hand. Automatically, she wipes it on her cape, despite there being no real blood to speak of. Not this time.

After hours of brainstorming, her wrists ache, but she doesn't have anything concrete. Does she have to save everyone? Specific people? Or does none of it matter at all?

Maybe the constant looping is merely to punish her. Or perhaps it's nothing more than a vivid hallucination. Himiko wrings her hands and sniffles.

Last time, she did absolutely nothing, and died because of it. So she has to act somehow, she just isn't sure what. She's already spent too much time isolating herself from the others in this loop. If she continues to hide away, someone might get suspicious, or she could become a target for murder.

The countdown to Amami’s murder has begun, and fully aware of this, Himiko doesn't have the heart to let him die again. The first time she tried to save him, he ended up dying anyways, so she’ll have to approach it from another angle.

Her throat tightens.

-

If she hides behind a shelf in the library, she won't be caught by the cameras or the sensor that she knows are lurking among the books.

Himiko sits crouched in a ball for hours, rocking back and forth on the floor. Every so often, her leg begins to shake, and she bites down on her thumb until it stops.

Finally, after anticipation nearly kills her, the door to the library swings open, and Amami creeps in. He’s distracted entirely by his MonoPad, and doesn't notice Himiko when he walks past her.

She waits. There has to be something, _anything_ that will save him, but she can't figure out what. Out of the corner of her eye, she spies the camera flash, and hears Amami's hard-hitting footsteps as he goes to examine it.

The library vent creaks. Himiko’s breath catches in her throat as the shot put rolls out and smacks into the carpet.

Amami spins around, and Himiko sees her opportunity. She stage whispers, “Amami! Hide!”

He looks stunned, but he follows Himiko’s direction and ducks behind the nearest shelf, across from her. He stares at her blankly and mouths something that she can't decipher. Himiko shrugs in reply, then tugs her hat over her eyes.

In the next second, the secret door opens. Shirogane’s footsteps are heavy against the knobbled carpet. Himiko holds her breath, her heart threatening to pop out of her chest. One wrong move, and she kills both of them.

“Where did…” Shirogane murmurs, her voice uncomfortably close, “Was the sensor faulty?” There’s sound of her heels grinding against the carpet as she turns around, and Himiko winces, closing her eyes. Shirogane lets out a squeak and her footsteps pick up, the sound of textures changing just before the camera clicks.

Her eyes flicker open to see Amami darting out from the shelf, snatching the discarded shot put, and racing forwards. She rolls out from her hiding place a millisecond before the cracking of Shirogane’s skull echoes throughout the library.

The bloodstained shot put slips from Amami’s fingers and rolls away. He sinks to his knees and grabs Shirogane’s hand, squeezing it as the colour from her skin fades. His voice is so quiet that Himiko has to strain to hear him.

“I’m sorry. You kind of deserved it, though, considering what happened last season,” he mutters. Then he races out of the library by way of the hidden door, slamming shut it with a headache inducing bang.

Himiko slumps over.

-

Amami lets the trial happen and confesses after only a few minutes of debate. Akamatsu tries to argue in his defence, but he shuts down every counterpoint she brings up. It isn’t long before the class is calling for a vote, amidst Monokuma’s irritated grumbles.

He doesn’t mention Himiko.

In the remaining seconds before his execution, he does send her a confused glance, to which she looks at her feet instead of trying to respond. It’s too late, though. It was too late from the very beginning. Rantarou Amami, it seems, was not a person who was meant to survive.

(He is pummelled by various Monokumas as he dives frantically through ditches, and clears the last one only to be stabbed through the back with an arrow. Himiko screams but no one will answer.)

-

It's the first time that they've passed the first trial and both Akamatsu and Saihara still live. Himiko supposes that this occurred in the loop where she killed Shirogane as well, but that doesn't count because she didn't live to see it.

Himiko grits her teeth and buckles down. She _can_ save Hoshi, but only if she gets Toujou focused on another target. That means getting another classmate killed. Does it matter, then? If she stands back and lets everything play out the same, or if she tries to interfere, someone dies.

How many of her friends has she murdered now? Himiko supposes that it’s close to, if not all of them.

Alone in her room, she shivers. She needs someone to talk to at this point. Not Ouma, and Tenko won't believe her. Akamatsu might think that she's crazy, or dangerous. Toujou would probably try to kill her, and Saihara is still too enamoured with Akamatsu to be useful.

The cast dwindles in Himiko’s mind until she makes a decision, though perhaps not her best one. When night falls, she lingers outside the door to Harukawa’s talent lab, nervous.

She hasn't made much of an effort to connect with Harukawa during these loops, but despite her abrasive nature, the dark haired girl had always put up with her. Maybe there was a chance that she'd have advice, at the very least.

And - in universe, at least - Harukawa has experience with killing people.

Himiko waits and waits, anxiety pooling in her stomach, until she finally works up the nerve, or the impulse, to twist the knob.

Inside, Harukawa has her back to the door, and is almost lazily chucking knives at a wall. Himiko clears her throat as soon as one of them leaves her hand, and she spins around on her heels.

“You…” she breathes, her eyes wide.

Himiko waves, “Are you busy, Harukawa? I just wanna talk, if it's okay.”

Harukawa glances behind her, then back at Himiko. The skin on her hands turns white the second before she lunges forwards, grappling Himiko by the throat.

“H… Haru…” Himiko chokes out, “W… Why-”

Harukawa stabs her in the stomach, sorrow blooming in her eyes like red carnations as she pulls the blade out.

Himiko stares at her stomach wound for a moment, then slumps, the assassin having released her iron grip.

“Now what?” Harukawa murmurs, mostly to herself.

Her vision blurs, and slowly turns white. Himiko's fingers stretch out, trying to reach Harukawa, but they only succeed in nervously stroking the cold floor.

And finally, after the pain turns her completely numb, her body convulses.

 

 

Then, Himiko wakes up inside of a locker in a classroom.

-

Before anything else, Himiko grips the sides of the locker and sucks in a deep breath amongst the residual pain from the previous loop.

Her throat feels like sandpaper, but she manages to choke out, “Why?”

(( **you’re a complete idiot, you know.** ))

What was she thinking? Of course Harukawa would kill her in that situation. She hadn't been exposed as the Super High School Level Assassin yet, so why would she not?

She won't get away with it, though, Himiko realizes. Harukawa isn't dumb, but she doesn't know how to properly cover up a murder. It’ll get traced back to her, and she too will be-

Himiko stops. Why is she thinking so hard about a timeline that no longer exists?

Her breathing soon slows. Himiko braces herself, then pushes the door to the locker open and steps out. She's prepared to greet Iruma, at least, so that's one thing she's figured out for herself.

Himiko doesn't get the words out of her mouth before she registers that the person standing in front of her this time is Kirumi Toujou.

“Uhhh?” Himiko utters intelligently.

Toujou dips her head, “Apologies, did I startle you? I promise that I meant no harm.”

Himiko shakes her head, “N-No, what are you…”

Toujou says, “This is quite the predicament that we've found ourselves in. Should we press onwards and see if there are others present?”

Himiko nods silently.

-

Something is wrong.

Well, several things are wrong. That's to be expected when you're a willing participant in a televised killing game, but something _else_ is wrong.

There's something out of place in every person, but Himiko can't place her finger on it. She glances around, trying to find the source of her discomfort, but the towering walls are the same.

It's small things- speech patterns, ways of carrying oneself, nothing that could be picked up by the untrained eye. Himiko focuses, trying to find the similarities so that she can remember how to act around each person.

Angie calls her ‘Himiko-san’ and her resolve crumbles.

Everything is moving in a direction that Himiko finds herself unable to understand, and that terrifies her. She’s been using all her knowledge of the former loops to get through the current one, but nothing is working. The countdown to death has begun, and she doesn’t know how to salvage this timeline.

-

Akamatsu is executed for Amami’s murder, because some things never change.

-

Toujou becomes a ticking time bomb after the first trial, so Himiko sticks close to her side and helps her prepare breakfast. Of course, there’s the chance that the maid won’t do anything at all, and that she’s wasting her efforts. Still, it might be best to remain in Toujou’s good graces.

Nobody besides Ouma - and maybe Shirogane, but the cosplayer makes her paranoid - even bats an eye towards her sudden servitude. It’s easy, really, to move back and forth from the kitchen, because then she has a few moments where it’s possible to breathe.

The remaining Monokubs drop off the keys to exploring the new areas of the school. There’s no real problems at first, until the talent lab that should belong to Himiko is opened.

“Is this… Saihara-san’s?” Toujou asks, tilting her head curiously.

The lab absolutely belongs to Saihara. The shelf of binders filled with murder photographs is in plain sight, as is the cabinet of poison. Himiko’s fists close around her cape, her heart palpitating. This shouldn’t be possible. Saihara’s lab doesn’t unlock until after the _third_ trial.

“We should tell him,” Himiko says, spinning in circles around in the room, “Maybe it’ll cheer him up, or something.”

Toujou nods, “Indeed. Though I am uncertain about the ‘cheering up’ part. He… does not seem particularly well. Not that I can blame him.”

Himiko feels blood pool in her mouth as she nods.

-

The darkness of her bathroom seems to fluctuate based on her position. Himiko stares at her warped reflection, squinting as though she’s seeing it through the fogged up glass of a shower stall in someone else’s house.

Dark circles fill the gaps between her eyes and her cheekbones. Sleep is a foreign concept to her at this point. Her faces twitches every few seconds.

Everything is _wrong_ and Himiko hates it. Events are happening all out of order, muddling what little remains of her memory. The loops all melt together, an ugly, monstrous myriad with violence in every corner. Blood seeps out of her pores, staining her cheeks. She blinks, and it’s only her tears.

Her reflection winks at her, then shatters. It isn’t until the shards of glass fall from her knuckles and into the sink that she realizes she punched the mirror.

Among the disarray that is the broken glass, the vial of poison on her bedside table remains perfectly clear.

-

With the vial hidden in the lining of her cape, Himiko makes her way towards the dining hall. She’s early, not enough to be conspicuous, but so that less people will see her with the guilty conscience that is sprawled like a cat on her shoulders.

She catches Tenko mere seconds before the aikidoka enters the hall, and quickly calls out, “Wait!”

Tenko spins around, “Oh! Yumeno-chan, it’s so good to see you! Is… is something the matter?”

Himiko pauses, her mind going blank for a moment, then says, “Er, don’t drink the coffee this morning. I sniffed it last night, and it seemed a little… yucky.”

Tenko nods seriously, “No need to worry! Tenko doesn’t even like coffee very much. Still, she appreciates the warning!”

Himiko smiles weakly and follows her inside. Tenko is safe this time around, and that’s what really matters. She makes small talk with the dark haired girl for a short time, then retreats into the kitchen.

Toujou is distracted with the stove when Himiko enters, which allows her to uncork the vial and dump the contents into the coffee pot without being noticed. Her hands shake and her heartbeat rises, but the maid doesn’t pay any attention to her.

Plates of breakfast are brought out by the pair of them. In between shifts, Himiko watches as Toujou pours coffee for a selection of her friends, watches as they become walking murder victims. The slow acting poison won’t kick in for some time now, but it’s only a matter of hours now.

She can’t bring herself to eat. Not when she knows that the people talking and smiling at the table are slinking closer to death with every passing second.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

One by one, Himiko’s victims take off for the day. She keeps her eyes glued to the food she won’t touch so that she doesn’t have to look at them as they go.

The body discovery announcement goes off after only an hour and a half.

-

“This is quite the conundrum, I would say,” Shinguuji muses, examining the new posts that represent the deceased, “Five people dying at once like this cannot be coincidence.”

In order, Momota, Harukawa, Iruma, Hoshi, Shirogane. At least, that’s the order that their corpses were discovered in. Himiko feels lightheaded.

Angie declares, “Nobody worry about this! Angie is talking to Kami-sama about the issue now. We won’t have to deliberate long at all!”

Gonta asks, “Will that be enough to solve the murders? Gonta’s already worried enough about losing the friends he did.”

“Gonta doesn’t have any real friends,” Ouma says, smirking.

“Shh!” Angie calls out, “Okay, we have an answer. Kami-sama says that Kirumi-san is the culprit!”

Toujou blanches, “N-No! I assure you, I-”

Saihara interjects, “It’s not impossible. According to the Monokuma Files, all five of them showed signs of asphyxiation.”

Tenko says, “Toujou-chan is in charge of cooking breakfast. Would she have been able to slip something into the food?”

“Yumeno-san helps in the kitchen though, does she not?” Kiibo hums.

Tenko raises her fists, “Don’t be ridiculous! Yumeno-chan wouldn’t do something as horrid as this!”

Himiko bites the inside of her lip. Tenko has too much faith in her, and it’s going to backfire any moment now. The thought terrifies her.

Ouma giggles, “Well, Yumeno-chan can speak for herself, can’t she? Why don’t we let her talk, instead of Chabashira-chan spouting a cover story!”

Tenko shoots an angry look at him, but doesn’t respond.

“I only bring food out,” Himiko mumbles, “I’m not involved in making it.”

Toujou bites her lip before she speaks, “That is true. She only began helping me recently, and I merely had her serve the rest of you.”

Angie beams, “So, it’s like Kami-sama says! Kirumi-san is the culprit.”

Kiibo says, “No, I can’t believe this! How would she even have done something of this caliber?”

Shinguuji responds, “If I recall, Saihara-kun’s lab opened after the last trial, and it contains a cabinet of deadly toxins. Anyone who went inside would be suspect, in my opinion.”

Toujou nods, “Exactly. Saihara-san could have just as easily been the culprit.”

Tenko throws out her arm, “You have that wrong, Toujou-chan! Saihara-kun was not sitting near any of the victims aside from Momota-kun! It would be incredibly difficult for him to be responsible.”

Gonta asks, “Who found Saihara-kun’s talent lab?”

“I-It was Toujou and I,” Himiko mumbles, tugging her hat down over her eyes.

“Nishishi~!” Ouma says, “Our prime suspects strike again!”

Tenko snarls, “Suspect.”

Angie hums, “You’re awfully sure on that, Tenko-san!”

Shinguuji says, “All we have in Yumeno-san’s regard is her own testimony. There’s no proof that she’s actually innocent.”

“Do you have any kind of defence, Yumeno-san?” Saihara asks, tilting his head, “It’s… it’s also fine if you don’t.”

Himiko tugs on her hat again, “I… I don’t know. Toujou cooks and I serve. That’s all there is to it.”

Toujou adds, “I will admit that her statement is true. I didn’t take my eyes off of her long enough for her to taint the meals.”

Gonta says, “How do we know if either of you are telling the truth?”

“You…” Toujou pauses for a moment, then coughs into her glove, “Forgive me. You don’t. But the victims were spread out across the table, and Yumeno-san could not have planned something with this malicious intent.”

Himiko grips the folds of her cape and tries not to cry. She _should_ say something, but it’s the trial after she killed Shirogane all over again.

Ouma bounces on his heels, “What did the five victims have in common? Maybe that can narrow down why they were killed!”

Saihara furrows his brow, “They don’t have a lot of similarities? Momota-kun and Iruma-san are… were rather brash, but Harukawa-san and Hoshi-kun were reserved, and Shirogane-san was a beam of positive energy.”

“Hm…” Ouma hums, “Are you sure that’s really what I meant?”

Tenko retorts, “If you know what happened, tell us! Awful boy…”

Angie crosses her arms, “Kami-sama says that we really need to pay attention to Kirumi-san! Apparently, it’s really, really important!”

Kiibo chirps, “I trust you, Kami-sama!”

Angie beams.

Shinguuji clears his throat, “If we could please return to the matter at hand…”

Toujou coughs again, her visible eye looking dull. She stares down at her gloved hand for a moment, before closing it in a tight fist, “I believe… that we can find the culprit, but we must look between the lines. We’ve all made the dangerous assumption that the killer poisoned the breakfasts. Is that really the case?”

“Gonta isn’t sure what else makes sense, at this point,” he admits, scratching his neck.

Saihara swallows, “It’s not a good preconception… The killer hoped to trap us like that. Was that what you meant, Ouma-kun?”

Ouma grins, but doesn’t seem to be up for divulging any more information. Himiko looks at her feet. He knows.

Toujou coughs again, violently, and blood spills out of her mouth and onto the floor. Everyone stares blankly for a moment, before turning their attention back to her with wide eyes. She croaks, “I... I drank my coffee… during the investigation.”

More blood spills out the side of her chin. She smiles wearily, red staining her teeth, then collapses on the floor.

Monokuma swings his gavel cheerfully, “A body has been discovered! The current class trial will enter recess for an investigation, and then, we will resume!”

“W-Wait!” Tenko shouts, tears pricking in her eyes, “Hold on… T-Tenko has a very important question!”

Saihara glances over at her, “Chabashira-san? Are you okay?”

Tenko turns her gaze towards Himiko. Her voice wavers again, and Himiko can hear the deep sorrow behind it, the same sorrow from the last trial where she was the culprit.

“Please… tell Tenko she made a mistake,” she starts, “Yumeno-chan told Tenko not to drink the coffee this morning, because it had gone off. Tell… Tell Tenko her conclusion is wrong.”

Gonta gasps, “Did Yumeno-san poison the coffee pot?”

Tenko ignores him and continues to stare into Himiko’s eyes, “Tell Tenko it’s a coincidence! _T-Tell me that it wasn’t you!”_

Just like before, it’s too late. Just like before, Himiko can only watch Tenko with what little remains of her life, before bowing her head and letting herself be dragged to certain death.

She cries less, because at this point, she’d welcome death. It’s inevitable, and she’s so tired. The only thing that makes her feel regret is the horror etched onto Tenko’s face as the clasp tightens around her neck.

The saw buzzes and whirrs until it pierces her skull, and for one blissful moment, it all stops.  


 

 

Himiko wakes up inside of a locker in a classroom. It doesn’t hurt anymore.

-

Nervously, she pushes the door open. To her great relief, Iruma is the person in the classroom this time. Maybe, just maybe that means that the timeline will go back to normal. In fact, she might even get lucky enough for this to be the last loop.

What she wouldn’t give for it to all end.

“Are you fucking listening to me?” Iruma asks, “Listen here, moe bitch. My esteemed self doesn’t have the time for people who won’t listen to her genius.”

Himiko quickly chokes out, “I-I am! It’s an honour to even be in your presence.”

Iruma grins maniacally, “Great to hear! Finally, all my glory is spreading around the globe!”

Himiko closes her fist tight to prevent herself from crying.

-

 _It’s always Tenko._ Himiko thinks and she mindlessly shifts through rocks. _Tenko is the reason I can’t win._

They can’t get through the tunnels, but Akamatsu always tries. Her calloused and bloody hands are just as tired as the rest of her. Himiko knows there’s nothing they can do at this point.

Her thoughts have been wandering the whole time, and have come to rest on a deeply uncomfortable topic. Tenko, despite treating her like a child, or perhaps, an animal, has proven to put the truth over her infatuation.

Which is a good thing, really. It’s just horribly inconvenient for Himiko. And this inconvenience is wearing her down to her bare bones.

Is this what Tenko has become to her? An inconvenient stroke on the canvas of her life? Tenko has rarely seen her as a human being, so maybe it’s fair.

Himiko closes her hand around a sharp shard of stone.

-

Trying to stop the first murder never seems to go well, so Himiko watches as Akamatsu is slammed relentlessly against the piano while hanging from a noose. How many times has she seen the blonde die now?

It can’t be more than five, but at the same time, it feels like a hundred thousand.

The morning after the fallout is when she approaches Saihara. He looks exhausted, and judging by the dark circles under his eyes, hasn’t slept in days.

Himiko can’t blame him. She’s in the same predicament.

“Hey,” she says carefully. He doesn’t look at her, the only indication that he heard is the twitch of his face. Himiko tries, “I have something I wanna tell you…”

Saihara keeps his eyes glued to the floor, “What?"

He sounds like a scratched CD.

“You should keep an eye on-” she hesitates. _Shirogane, Shirogane._ It’s the obvious name to say, and the syllables form on her lips, but the wrong ones come out- “on Harukawa. She’s hiding something.”

“How do you know that?” Saihara responds dryly. He’s a blank record, spinning aimlessly on a gramophone as a sickening reminder that he’s dysfunctional without a guide.

Himiko says, “I’m a mage, I just know. And… it’s too tiresome to explain everything.”

Saihara lifts his head for the first time during their conversation and stares at her. Neither of them can bring themselves to say another word.

-

Shuuichi Saihara is found dead in his dorm room, arms folded neatly over his chest. Himiko doesn’t even have to think about it to know that it’s all her own fault.

(Harukawa screams as she's dragged away to execution.)

-

The second motive hasn’t been announced when Himiko creeps out of her bedroom and slinks towards Tenko’s. Last she checked, it was only a few strokes past one in the morning, so she shouldn’t be too deep in sleep.

Magic props shift uneasily in her arms. With luck, and only one mishap, Himiko completes the silent trek to Tenko’s room and knocks on the door with her knee.

The door swings open and Tenko whispers, “Oh, Yumeno-san! Is something the matter?”

Himiko’s stomach heaves as she speaks, “Wanted to… show you some magic. Since you seemed so interested in my skills as a mage.”

She sounds fake, so fake. There’s no conviction in her voice anymore. Still, if this will get the loop to end, she’ll do it. She’ll do anything.

Tenko moves aside, allowing Himiko in, and then closes the door behind them. Fatal mistake number one. She continues to talk, turning around as she does so.

Fatal mistake number two.

Himiko bashes her head in with a wooden box. And then she starts to cry.

-

There isn’t a word for the kind of terror that Himiko experiences during the trial. She feels sick to her stomach the whole way through, and there’s no release.

It’s different than before. Akamatsu - brave, fearless Akamatsu - is dead. Momota lives still, but his bravery is reckless. There isn’t a Super High School Level Detective either, and while Ouma is the smartest person in the room, he doesn’t know the truth.

And of course, Tenko isn’t around, but that’s Himiko’s fault.

(( **it’s all your fault.** ))

“The culprit,” Toujou begins, “would have to be strong enough to break the lock on Chabashira-san’s door.”

It had been surprisingly easy to damage the lock from the inside. Since the door was already open, the mechanism was vulnerable.

Ouma responds, “Not necessarily, Toujou-chan. If the lock was picked, the killer could have messed with it after the fact.”

“Can we take that as your confession?” Hoshi grunts, “Since your lock picking ability is clear.”

Ouma huffs, “Hoshi-chan! That's not very nice. And if you're going after me, shouldn't you suspect the pig, too?”

Iruma snarls, “H-Hey! Watch your mouth, bitch baby!”

Kiibo beeps, “Don't worry, Iruma-san! We were together during the time of the murder, remember?”

Momota raises an eyebrow, “Were you?”

“Kiibaby here needed some repairs,” Iruma grumbles, “So I fixed him up, and then added some sick fucking upgrades.”

Ouma giggles, “Weeeelllll... I don’t trust either of you! So there!”

“You wanna fucking go, imp?” Iruma shouts.

Shinguuji intervenes, “I believe that we’ve gone rather off topic.”

Shirogane chimes in, “It also doesn’t make much sense for the culprit to do something like that? Wouldn’t it be more reasonable for them to have simply… broken the door down?”

Angie hums, “Gonta is the most well built of us! It wouldn’t be harsh to presume that he’s involved.”

“G-Gonta would never do something like that!” the entomologist cries.

And the fight goes on. Himiko watches in near silence, only chipping in when absolutely forced to, and never with anything useful. It takes hours of screaming and disorganized debate, and they still don’t get anywhere.

Ouma receives the popular vote at the end of it all. Himiko votes for herself, since nobody else will. In another life, it could have been a heroic gesture, but in this one, she’s just another coward.

The Monokubs rush her onto the elevator, and the grate slams down as soon as she’s inside. Himiko sinks to the ground, unable to face her classmates as they scream bloody murder.

Then, the doors close, leaving Himiko with a silence more torturous than the sound of her dying classmates ever could be.

The elevator creaks as it rises.

Himiko sobs the whole way up, exhausted and scared. That’s everyone, then. If she wasn’t responsible for the deaths of all her friends before, then she certainly is now.

How awful. How terribly unforgivable.

The doors open to an expanse of dust and bright light. Crawling on her knees, Himiko reaches out and grips a searing hot rock that lies just outside. Carefully, she shifts forwards, tears blotting her vision. She killed them _all_ and she should have _died_ for it, but-

  
  


But mercifully, Himiko wakes up inside of a locker in a classroom.

-

Himiko steps out of the locker and half-heartedly greets Iruma. She’s tired, she’s so tired. At this point, she isn’t sure how she’s still standing. She can’t count how many things have gone wrong now, as the original timeline is slipping from her mind. She knows that she has to keep going, but her energy is depleting.

She follows Saihara to the library and beats him to death with a dictionary before he can find the hidden door. The saw enters her skull and she wakes up again.

Ouma is in the room with her when she opens the locker. Himiko lunges across the room and throttles him. An Exisal tears through her skin like it’s paper and she wakes up.

At breakfast, Himiko stands up on her chair and accuses Shirogane of being the mastermind. The blue haired girl bursts into tears, but Himiko continues to yell until Tenko and Gonta pull her back. She wakes up in the locker with a very sore neck.

She prevents murders for long enough until poison gas erupts from the vents. Himiko dies clutching Harukawa’s hand, and wakes up inside a locker in a classroom.

She sets off Akamatsu’s trap and then sprints out of the library, only for the blonde herself to die on the carpet. Saihara is hauled off at the end of the trial, screaming and crying. Tenko dies next, and Himiko stabs herself in the bathroom during the investigation until she wakes up.

Himiko lasts to the second trial and Toujou convinces everyone else to let her go. She tastes Exisal again and opens her eyes to the three slats of the locker.

Angie’s death is ruled a suicide after Himiko breaks down during the trial. The cases are getting muddled in her head, and she doesn’t remember how to prove Shinguuji’s guilt. She regains awareness in the classroom, and feels a shooting pain in her gut.

Iruma successfully frames Momota for Ouma’s murder. Himiko stabs herself before the Exisal reaches her.

Harukawa forces a vote for herself as Momota’s killer, despite Himiko’s screams. They all die, except for Himiko, who doesn’t.

Kiibo blows up the Gifted Inmates Academy and a chunk of falling rubble crushes her.

With Akamatsu’s hand clutched in her own, Himiko takes the elevator back up to the classroom.

Shirogane turns the tables on her and accuses Himiko of being the mastermind the day after Amami dies. There is a majority vote among the students to lock her away until they can figure out something reasonable, and Himiko starves again.

Are spines supposed to make a snapping noise?

Himiko, Tenko, and Iruma refuse to vote, so Hideyoshi Abe chooses Himiko as the season’s sacrifice. The last thing she sees before waking up in the locker are Tenko and Iruma’s horrified faces as the elevator door closes on them.

She strangles Kaito in his sleep and ends up riding the elevator up to the locker alone.

Out of stress, she goes for a walk in the middle of the night and someone pushes her down the stairs and into the classroom.

Amami, Hoshi, Angie, and her end _Dangan Ronpa,_ until Himiko wakes up again.

Shinguuji crushes her windpipe.

Akamatsu’s talent lab opens and Himiko barricades herself inside before she hangs herself. And she wakes up.

Himiko dies. Wakes. Dies. Wakes. _Wakes._

-

And finally, Himiko stops. There’s no point in doing _anything_ if she’s just going to keep getting back up at the start.

The first loop was so long ago that it’s only a faint memory in her head. Himiko thinks back as far as she can and hopes to emulate it. A perfect repeat is out of the question, but it’s enough. They die the same, and it doesn’t hurt like it used to.

Amami falls. Akamatsu swings. Hoshi drowns. Toujou splatters.

(Himiko stares.)

It isn’t until the night before Tenko’s murder than Himiko allows herself even one act of rebellion. It’s a quiet evening, and the cafeteria is empty, save for them.

“Hey, Tenko,” Himiko says, “Can you tell me a story?”

Tenko’s eyes widen, “O-Oh! Of course! Tenko knows lots of stories. What does Yumeno-san want to hear about tonight?”

Himiko shrugs, “Long as it’s happy… I don’t care.”

Tenko nods, “Let’s see… Oh! When Tenko was a very young girl, she had to move prefectures with her family. At the time, she had a cat named Orību. Orību was a very grumpy old girl, and didn’t like us very much.”

Himiko nods along. Tenko seems animated and excited to tell this story.

“When Tenko’s family moved, we took a plane! Orību came on too, of course, but the cat carrier we had… didn’t look very traditional. So… the airline people put her in with the rest of the baggage.”

“What happened?” Himiko asks earnestly.

Tenko says, “Well, she ended up on the baggage carousel! Tenko grabbed her quickly, but it was quite the experience. She was nice to us for a whole week afterwards.”

Himiko smiles, and leans against Tenko’s shoulder, “I like that story. Y-You’ll have to tell me another, some time.”

“Tenko will remember more great stories to tell you!” the aikidoka promises.

It’s the last private conversation they get. Tenko dies for good in the morning.

-

The final trial has gone on for seven hours now. It’s too much of a mess for Himiko to follow her actions perfectly, but she supposes that it won’t count against her too much.

 _Dangan Ronpa_ is over. It should be over for good, this time. Never again.

“Thank you all for playing, I suppose,” Shirogane says, putting on one last smile for Saihara and Harukawa. For Himiko. For the audience.

_Never again._

Shirogane turns to her, and with a gleam in her eye, says, “And thank _you_ especially, Yumeno-san! You made all the looping worth it, really.”

Harukawa’s head whips around, “What is she talking about?!”

Himiko ignores her and stares into Shirogane’s eyes that - for once - contain nothing but the bitter truth. So. She knew all along. It’s only now that Himiko finally realizes how to get everything to stop.

What a fool.

It all happens too quickly. Rubble rains down on their heads thanks to Kiibo’s hero initiative, and Himiko screams, really screams, for the first time since she woke up. Saihara tugs her to a spot where they and Harukawa can observe, unharmed.

If she doesn’t act, then it has to happen again. Himiko bites down on her lip, then bursts away from the protective grip of her friends and charges right towards Shirogane.

She’ll be the hero of her own story, if nobody else will.

Mere seconds before the chunk of rock crushes the ringleader, Himiko violently shoves her out of range. The two fall to the ground, Himiko landing on top of her. Their faces are only inches apart.

In another world, there would have been something. An apology, a ‘thank you,’ a whispered regret. But the only communication that they share is a hollow, silent stare that contains more words than either of them could ever say.

Himiko rolls off of Shirogane and runs. The rubble has stopped, but she still shakes, feeling ghosts of heavy stone on her shoulders. She’s tempted to turn around, but the sight of Saihara and Harukawa force her to not look back.

“I’m sorry, I… I couldn’t…” Himiko squeaks out.

Harukawa has a sympathetic gleam in her eyes, and extends her hand to Himiko, who gratefully takes it. Saihara doesn’t look at her.

With the cage gone, hot, hot sunlight burns down on Himiko’s neck. She squints for a moment, then exchanges a glance with Harukawa, and takes a guarded step forwards.

She’ll never forget about any of them. How could she, after everything?

For a few horrid, lightheaded moments, Himiko fears waking up in the locker again. But no matter how many steps she takes, gripping Harukawa’s sweaty fingers, she doesn’t black out.

This is the world that has been built for her, and her three fellow survivors. Himiko smiles, as tears run down her face.

Himiko walks. And she doesn’t wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hideyoshi (秀 (hide) 'excellent', 'outstanding' and 良 (yoshi) 'good', 'virtuous', 'respectable') Abe (安 (a) 'peace' and 倍 (be) 'multiple times.')
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this fic! Comments and Kudos are much appreciated- have a wonderful day!

**Author's Note:**

> Haruka (遥 'distant', 'remote') Saito (斎 (sai), 'purification', 'worship' and 藤 (tou) 'wisteria').


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